i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
