I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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