I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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