It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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