Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
