thus making me awesome and them whores
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize