I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude i'm inner monologue high
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
