the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
