It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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