I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
