it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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