party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
