don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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