Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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