Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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