We're like a lot better than the average bears
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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