You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
