i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We got so high we made milksteak
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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