I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
