Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
