i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
