and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm at about main and main street
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
