Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
