Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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