Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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