No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
