we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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