she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
