People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
