I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
