This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
