Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
