Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
