i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize