She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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