sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish you could order shots online.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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