he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
