he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
