I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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