dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
