we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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