stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
