You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
