That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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