No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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