i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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