I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
