why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
