Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
