dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's blow job season.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Couch. On fire.
Randomize