Heybabeimwearingurpanties
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
so much tequila, so little girl.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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