I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If that was your dad, he is hot
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
