Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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