so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
