Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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