Define "chronic" masturbator.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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