My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
