just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
