I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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