Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Randomize
